Mr. Wind you have worn out your welcome

Wind? Seriously why don’t you leave me alone? It is blowing 40mph steady today. This is West Texas...flat and no trees, a combination that is perfectly condusive to getting beat to death by wind. We live in the country where it is even worse due to the fact that cotton is what is grown in this neck of the woods, and the crops have all been harvested...leaving 100’s of 1,000’s of acres of dirt fields surrounding us. The dirt that gets in those 40mph winds and blows into you window sills, your lipgloss....

That is one of my top 5 questions I will have for God when I get to Heaven “why, why with the wind?” I understand pollinating and seeds and whatever ...but tiny puffs of wind can carry seeds.

While we are on the topic...one of my other questions will be why hairy legs and armpits for the ladies? He could have taken care of that one for us. I mean we have to do the child bearing and all, he could of thrown us a bone on the hairy leg thing. I‘m just sayin’.

Followed by a little nudge to the elbow and “You meant for bodily noises to be funny, didn’t you?” He will admit to it and then, then all of you prissy proper girls who gasp & take offense at any indication of a bodily noise....yeah, the joke will be on you.

So it is Monday and the ha-yuge party is Saturday. The party is outside in the barn, but people will have to come in to use the restroom. We have a powder room right inside the door from the garage which is in the little hallway leading to the kitchen. Also in this hallway is the laundry room. Knowing people will be sizing up my laundry room, I did a total clean out of the laundry room yesterday. Top to bottom, washed the walls and everything. The walls in there did not "look" dirty but you should have seen the soapy water in the sink. Ewwwwww. It is all clean and fresh now...why don’t I do that more often? I might feel compelled to wash all walls in the house now. There may not be much sleep for me this week.

That then lead me to the hallway by the back door where the walls were DIRTY, yes I could see the smudges there...children leaning on & touching while taking shoes on and off, etc...ugh. Filthy beasts. So I washed down those walls too. Good grief! It looks like a new house again! Plain old soap and water, no "cleaners" folks. Worked like a charm.

I have not been able to get outside and clean the porch because of the dang wind. You might recall my issue with the darn birds pooping on the porch. Some sweet little finches or swallows or something have built nests on the porch and they don't do anything but poop all day! I have to clean the porch because what if people want to sit on the porch at the party?!?! I am all ready to clean once the wind stops blowing. I bought a heavy duty scrub brush and resigned myself to the fact that I will be scrubbing bird crap for HOURS one day this week.

Then I had a revelation. Pressure washer. OH yeah baby I went to Lowe’s this morning and got an 1800 PSI pressure washer. It is the “Tim the Tool Man” way to remove bird crap...except he would have gotten like 4800PSI!! I’ll have that nasty porch cleaned off in like 10 minutes. Those danged pooping birds better not show their faces while momma has the pressure washer fired up.

Well, I'm done now. I have wasted 3 minutes of your life and I am sure sorry about that but heck I feel better venting those little issues!