Thursday, January 24, 2008

Oh no she di'nt!!!

Yes, the female who climbed onto the treadmill next to me this morning had perfume on. She sure enough did. I just can't comprehend why you would shower, put on makeup, flat iron your cute little bob and give yourself a good dousing with perfume before going to the gym. She ended up only staying on the treadmill for like 10 minutes so she obviously had no intention of sweating. Or perhaps her perfume was in fact choking her too!

It was sugary flowery sweet perfume. No joke I had to stop running and turn my head the other way. I mean my lungs are heaving, fighting for the next intake...and they get filled with noxious perfume! I am not anti perfume, I love me some perfume...but not at the gym. Now I maintained my composure, regardless of what I said in my previously posted "Irate Gym Girl" manifesto, and did not willingly pass gas as retaliation for her perfume. You may ALSO remember from a previous post that I am currently in the middle a colon cleansing program. So as you might imagine, me intentionally or forcibly passing gas at this time would be advantageous to no one, least of all me! Sorry if you find that offensive (get over it)...just keepin' it real here at Quilty Chick!

So the Dish man did in fact show up in a timely manner yesterday to hook up the HD receiver. Now our living room turned sports bar is in full swing...

Little bit of a decorating challenge working around the behemoth black square, but I'll keep working on it. I am sort of a techno dunce. I mean a tv is a tv and a stereo is a stereo, right? Well that was until yesterday when I surfed some channels in HD. Holy cow that is beautiful. It is so precise and clear it is almost not real. I am really, really impressed. I may become an HD snob and only watch shows broadcast in HD.

The Marine came over last night to help hubs get the TV up on the mantel. I had been a little anxious wondering how we would SAFELY get it up there because the mantel is tall and the hearth is narrow making standing and balancing on it, while lifting, not a good idea. The tv although not super heavy, is awkward, especially to lift over your head.

So here is what DID happen:

1. There is an electrical outlet on the top of the mantel and this would make the stand for the tv not sit level. So hubs has the Marine unscrew the face plate, do whatever you do to live uncovered wires and then push them down into the opening so the tv will then sit level. The Marine shocks himself not once but twice. Not fall and convulse shocks but "OOOOOUUUUCCCCHHH!" shocks that scared the snot out of me.

2. At the exact time of shock #2, 1/3 of the lights in the house go out.
Hubs and the Marine are then wondering around in the garage and outside with flashlights looking for fuse problems.

3. No fuse problems so hubs deducts that it has to do with the wiring in the electrical outlet. There they go back to the wiring in the outlet. I had the phone in my hand ready to dial 911 (which is why there are no pictures of this circus act) as I knew either the house was going to catch on fire or we would have to resuscitate the Marine after another shock!

4. That all surprisingly worked out safely and lights came back on. So the 3 of us heft the tv up onto the mantel, which was touch and go let me tell you. Then ahhh it is up there...but I am cringing just waiting for it all to crash down.

Blonde rascal prayed last night at bedtime that the mantel would hold the tv. It is 24 hours later and all is still in tact. Thank God!


Mary said...

What a harrowing life you lead....

Anonymous said...

What would have really been good is if...Kristen's mice and your tv installation had happened all at the same time and place.

kristen lewis said...

Oh, Lorie! Now we are talking. I may just bring some "friends" with me tomorrow night and see what happens!

Red Geranium Cottage said...

A man and his HD!! What could make them happier? LOL!!
And the perfume situation.......OMG that is just wrong!!! You really should have passed gas!!