Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Wild Kingdom

I am a city girl at the core of my being. When I moved to Lubbock 20 years ago from Houston, to go to college, I was a little taken back by the winds, hurricane force winds and blowing dirt. Dust storms that turn the sky an eerie brown/red. FLAT, open terrain. It all took some getting used to. Then after college I married hubs who has a passion for team roping which introduced me to horses and cattle and manure and boy stuff. We moved outside of town, hardly roughing it, but country living all the same. That started chipping away at the city girl in me.

Now we are moving 90 miles south to a little more rocky, a tiny, tiny bit hilly, pretty rugged area. Again our "new" house is outside of town.

I am afraid the city girl is about to be gone forever.

About 3 weekends ago when I was at the "new" house for a painting marathon, I was standing on the porch talking to hubs on the phone and a skunk ran out from under my car and directly below my feet, where I was standing on the edge of the porch. After I screamed at the top of my lungs into hub's ear, I was sort of amused by the skunk. He was very fat and cute. Luckily he was not at all alarmed by my shrill screaming. He happily waddled off. Thankfully bold Missy, who was also outside at the time, never saw him. I can guarantee she would have been all up in his bidness... and one very stinky pooch after that.

Always in the back of my mind is also the fact that our "new" house is in rattlesnake country. Watching your step and common sense will keep that risk at a minimum....AND there is a hospital in our little city Praise God. I try not to dwell on this new issue. I have not seen one... yet...but when I do, I just might lose my mind.

I do not like guns, mainly because I do not like loud noises. I will be purchasing some of those noise canceling headphones and hubs will be teaching me how to fire some weapon out of his arsenal. Mama will shoot a rattlesnake if necessary. I will be like Annie Oakley...with ear protection.

Our "new" house is surrounded by deer and wild turkeys. That is fun to see. They don't bite or smell (well, I bet they do smell but you know what I mean) or hurt you. AND if the economy completely tanks and we spiral into another great depression...Mama can hunt for dinner, while shooting rattlesnakes. It's all good.

Then this past weekend is about where it all ended for the city girl turned country bumpkin. I almost threw in the towel on country livin'. I was on another painting weekend. It was Sunday morning, hubs and blonde rascal were on their way to the "new" house. I was sweeping the baseboards, which I was about to paint. I moved a light fixture box from Lowe's (which hubs was coming to install) with my foot...my foot that was still in my slippers...and I notice something moving on the floor. At first glance I thought it was one of those ugly wolf spiders. But no, it was.....

A scorpion.

I should mention that the only "Scorpions" I like, would be the hair band from the 80's.

I screamed bloody murder "OHGODHELPME!" and beat that thing with the broom like a possessed woman! Then I grabbed a can of wasp spray and sprayed the living daylights out of it. The scorpion was very, very dead at that point.

It was all flattened out, from its beating, and was 2" long. I was traumatized. I decided right then we would have to move somewhere....somewhere with no critters. But where would that be? Every place has their own species of some disturbing critter or another.

This entire SW region of the country is scorpion territory, but I have never seen one. Certainly it could have come out of the Lowe's box. But, also our "new" house has been under some construction with open walls, etc... So it also stands to reason that a scorpion could have easily wandered in.

I will be calling pest control to come spray before I sleep there again on my next painting marathon weekend. AND I will put our house on the regular quarterly spraying schedule. No question about that.

Of course I took a picture. Not a zoom though, because I did not want to see it up close. Had I found it OUTside I think I could have looked at it up close. But there would have been nightmares had I studied it up close while in my house. Weird neurosis, I know.
It is right in the middle of the picture, amidst the pool of wasp spray. I know it is hard to see due to the construction dust covering the floor. By the way that is our new floor and I lurve it, dust and all.

(edited to add I cropped the picture so you can see the little beast. Y'all thought I was imagining it on my dirty floor! It is blurry from being cropped, and it rotated the picture for some reason...but it still gives me the heebie jeebies)

Lord have mercy. It is a good thing this "new" house has a pool, that is the only saving grace considering the conditions I will be enduring.

Well, the pool and this........"Brazilian Jewel" granite counter tops. It was installed last week and is so completely gorgeous. I didn't take a picture of the whole kitchen yet because they had not grouted (is that a word?) the back splash yet.

DO NOT leave a comment saying you had a scorpion in your bed, or shoe or whatever...because you will cease being my friend!! My fragile mental state cannot handle that info right now. Just lie and say that was probably the ONLY scorpion within 200 miles of our house...that is what silly hubs told me.

He better be thankful we have a pool, and granite that I adore.


Angie said...

I have never found a scorpion in my bed or my shoe and that really WAS the only one within 200 miles of your house. You're good to go!

I did however find a scorpion in my swimsuit bottoms one time when I was 12.

And yes, I found out the hard way.

Sara said...

Girl, you crack me up! I live in TN and have found those pesky scorpions around our house...so yeah, that was the only one within 200 miles of your house because the rest have found their way to my bed and my husbands shorts he had put on after they had been laying in the floor. Quilty Chick get your gun!

kristen lewis said...

I can't even see it in the picture.

One time when we were in Mexico, I found a dead bat in the trash can in the morning only for Mike to tell me that he had found it in our bed the night before but was afraid to tell me. You think? So I slept in a bed where a dead bat was discovered. Nice.

Brooke said...

You guys are NO help!! I feel an over the top, anal, OCD tendency quickly developing. One that involves me neurotically checking the bed and clothing for scorpions. I don't have time for this. I am moving to Alaska...I would KNOW if there was a grizzly bear in my bed!

Adrienne said...

Will you still be my friend if I tell you I couldn't even see the scorpion... (smile here!) I'm with you on the city girl, country girl thing. My husband introduced me to boots, cows and goats.

Anne said...

When we moved into this house, I was reading in bed one night (hubby snoring next to me) and I caught something moving. I had no idea what it was so I got out of bed to investigate. Sure enough...a scorpion. I knew hubby wouldn't wake up, so I went and got a glass and put it over that pesky littly guy (not hubby - LOL). When we woke up the next morning, I told hubby that I thought I trapped a scorpion... He laughed at me...silly guy, and went and looked...and sure enough, I was right. I think it scared him more than me. A couple days later, there was one in my sewing room. That did it.....we called an exterminator and they sprayed the outside of the house. No more scorpions. Not a fun experience, that's for sure. Good luck! (PS---I Aqua Netted a mouse to death one time) LOL

Tricia Anne said...

Oh my goodness! I laughed about your sweet puppy NOT seeing the cute skunk! Holy cow! Could you imagine?! And I thought my litmus test in going from city girl to country girl, was living with out street lights! :o) OY!
You will do great!! Love the image of Annie Oakley with hearing protection!
Sincerely ~ Tricia Anne
Ps. I have never seen a scorpion and I have lived in the south for 9 years. It's all good! :o)

Rue said...

Hi Brooke :)

You're so funny and sound just like me! My mom gets scorpians a lot at her house, but she's in Arizona.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I just got my first letter from my son yesterday :)


Mary said...

Okay, I can just see you telling a rattlesnake to "hold on" while you go get your ear protection. Ha, ha, ha! I'm with you on the scorpion issue, it gives me the creeps and makes my skin crawl. Remind me never to spend the night at your house! Angie, you are a hoot!!

Red Geranium Cottage said...

OMG i hate bugs of any kind. I'm with you, I would not sleep there till I knew they were all dead!!!

Sooo, did you sell the house??? I sure hope you did. Cause that stress is a killer, I'm here to tell you from experience. And we're not done yet.

College Station said...

Oh Brooke, you are my daily dose of laughter. I've slept at my grandparents house there in Snyder for 40 years and never saw a scorpion. I think the screaming at the top of your lungs definately drove all the little critters 200 miles around to a new destination. Concerning the rattlesnakes, they don't have ears so watch out still for those. By the way, they do taste like chicken! Check them out at the annual Rattlesnake Festival in Sweetwater. Definately a memorable experience.

Lori E. said...

Boy, I am way behind on all the Q.C. drama. I was prepared to tell you that it may not have been a scorpion but a sun spider, which we have found in our house. I thought it was a scorpion and then researched what it was.....but.....I can barely make it out, but I think that is in fact a scorpion. Spraying will kill them, just protect Missy from the spraying. They will tell you that it will not hurt your pets. Have I told you my San Antonio story concerning our Mac cat? Also one other piece of creepy knowledge my mom told me last week. A man from our home town was bit by a skunk as he worked under his car. Rabid. If you see a skunk in the day time something MAY be wrong with it, because they are nocturnal. So put on your ear protection and shoot a skunk if you see it during the day. And then call someone to have it tested. OK, I am for sure not your friend anymore!!