Wednesday, September 5, 2007

There is a fungus among us!

We have a barn. We have cattle. We have horses. We have hay. In all of that fun stuff there are mice. When the neighbor barn cat had kittens we said bring a few over when they are weaned. Nice neighbor brought over three. Cutest things you ever did see! Now the thing with barn cats is you want them to stay somewhat wild. You need them hungry enough to kill mice and whatever else lurks in the barn. So we feed them every other day or so. Not to mention I personally don’t want to get too attached to them because it is often the fate of barn cats to become part of the food chain. Hey, coyotes have to eat too you know. We instructed blonde rascal NOT to pick them up so they won’t become sissy,lazy, fat, worthless cats, you know like the 2 cats in the house. I think the temptation was too much for him, I mean they are really cute and all. At the same time blonde rascal was loving the kitties on the sly, his sidekick Missy, the killer miniature Dachshund, was herself loving the fact that there was finally animals around that were her own size. She promptly took to wrestling with the kitties. All good clean fun down on the ranch, yes? NO!! Those wild rogue kitties had ringworm and it IS contagious folks! Here are the scoundrels now...

This is Patrick.

This is Sandy.

There is one more somewhere. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty...."

whoopsies! Sorry, that is not a cat.

OK here he is...

This is Gary. He must be the brains behind the whole operation because look, even he has sense enough to be disgusted by ringworm!

(Those of you with young rascals might recognize the names of the kitties...yes, the kitties were christened with Sponge Bob names, sadly without any consideration for the sex of the kitties.) Where did blonde rascal end up with ringworm you ask? Right smack dab on the back of his adorable neck! On the first day of school no less! My meticulously clean, primped, scrubbed, sweet smelling little boy starts the first day of 2nd grade with a case of ringworm! I researched this little predicament on the internet and found while very contagious among animals and children, adults generally are immune to it. Well thank goodness at least for that! And then there is sweet puppy Missy with her ringworm. With her pink velvet blingy collar and her cute little longhaired have a big blob of ringworm on the inside of one of her legs is just.....just a total disgrace! Despite its perfectly horrible name, there is no actual worm involved it is just a skin fungus. Apply a regular treatment of Lotrimin AF, ok for pets too by the way, and you are good as new. As it turns out, 19 year old brown haired rascal’s girlfriend, cute sweet little thing, grew up on a ranch and said that as children they often got ringworm from one ranch beast or another and used Crest to kill it! Who knew? Cavity control and fungus eliminator all in one handy tube. And then in fact, as I was on the phone with good friend Lori the other day, relaying all of the gory details of this fungus predicament going on at our house.....oops, wait..... I let it slip. You see when good friend Lori caught wind of me thinking of starting my blog she immediately demanded that she have an alias, a nom de plume if you will, should she be mentioned in any of my blogging. Perhaps she did not want to be affiliated with and/or incriminated by any of my foolishness? Maybe, but she really just likes to keep a low profile that Lori does. Why, you ask? Who knows. One could guess... mail fraud, possible mafia involvement or maybe she tore the tags off of her mattresses. It’s hard to say. That Lori, she keeps it on the down low, that’s just how she rolls, so we love her despite her delusions of being in the witness protection program! I digress... so anyway my good friend Jennifer, Jennifer Aniston, comforted me by saying that one of her sons got ringworm in kindergarten and it was nothing to be concerned about. I am so thankful for friends like Jennifer who are there for you through good times and bad.

Now don’t you worry, kind readers, we have this ringworm thing whipped. All people and pets line up in the front yard every morning and I dump a few cans of Lortimin AF into the pressure washer and give everyone a good dousing.

So anyway, enough of all that gross highly contagious fungus talk. The guest room is open, who wants to come stay at our house this weekend? tee hee tee hee!


Mary said...

You are so funny Brooke!! I'm throughly enjoying reading about your crazy life. And tell your neighbor "Jennifer" that I said "hi"!

kristen lewis said...

I am not telling you where I had ringworm. Let your imagination run wild!