So I have been MIA all summer. It has been a great summer, a busy summer, but sooo fun nonetheless. School starts a week from today and I am dreading it! I like having the little man with me all the time.
There is so much to say about our summer.... I may never have to time divulge all that information. However there are those instances where something happens and it MUST be blogged about A.S.A.P. You know, like a to die for recipe that must be shared, a monumental family event, a super cute new haircut, a fantastic find at the junk store.....
How about a scorpion in my shorts this morning that stung the everlovinghell out of my tender inner thigh/lower buttocks area?
That is a blog worthy event if I have ever heard one.
Yes sir, in my shorts. That's what I said. While I was in my shorts too, mind you. Me and a scorpion.... sharing my khaki shorts. Cozy, huh?
How in the name of Pete did that happen you ask? You know I am going to tell you.
It all goes back to my mom telling me to pick up my clothes when I was a kid. Should of listened. You see there was a lovely pair of khaki shorts, on the floor of my closet and I chose to wear them today. Yes they should have been put back in the drawer after I wore them last, hindsight is 20/20.
I put on said khaki shorts after getting out of the shower. Wore them for a good 15 minutes before there was a devilish horrible stinging in my britches! That is the part that makes my skin crawl...that dang vile creature was hitching a ride in my drawers whilst I was putting on makeup and such. Nightmarish honestly.
I went to pull the trash bag out of the kitchen trash and obviously bent in such a manner that was not pleasing to Mr. Hitcharideinmydrawers.
Instantly there was this fire burning trauma going on in my shorts and I was momentarily dumbfounded by just what exactly was going on. I commenced to yelling and stomping. It was a very painful intense burning, so I pretty quickly had a horrified good idea at what the culprit was and shucked my shorts in a mighty fast manner. In the kitchen no less, all the while both blonde rascal and Missy the wonder mini-doxie stood mouth agape staring at the spectacle I was obviously making of myself.
As I flung my shorts, the dastardly scorpion fell to the ground where in a blind searing pain filled kung fu moment I stomped on it with my full body weight. I did have flip flops on thank goodness.
Then I grabbed an ice pack out of the fridge and waddled over to the ottoman, in my underwear, in front of blonde rascal.... and sat my left cheek on the ice pack.
It still burns 6 hours later, thank you very much.
I told blonde rascal I'd pay for his therapy later in life. I can see him laying on a therapist's couch in his young adult years mumbling..."my Mom..... hollering....underwear...... ice packs...." Poor kid.